The Ricker has an interesting wardrobe.
He is often seen shirtless, displaying his hairy chest in all its glory. His shorts are short--so short, in fact, that when his original 1980s shorts finally wore out, he purchased the shortest shorts he could find at a department store and had them taken in a few inches. He then had to have the pockets taken in, as they hung lower than the shorts' hemline. He wears sandals, full sandals with a toe strap and ankle strap. They aren't Tevas, that would be too normal. Instead, they are these overly velcroed leather sport sandals that he wears a size too small so his toes hang over. He has two pairs, black and brown, that are identical, because he purchased two brown pairs and spray-painted one pair black. In the winter, which to him means February, he wears old Levis, old cowboy boots (and an original pair of moonboots when it snows) and a denim shirt. The rest of the year, even when the temperature is in the 40s, he runs around in his shorts, shirtless, with sandals displaying his grotesque toes.
He is often seen carrying a large, purple plastic cup, though the contents of the cup have varied over the years. A while ago, it was a tequila half-soda half-OJ. Then, it became the Ricker--a cocktail of vodka, zima and cranberry juice. Now he drinks jug white wine and diet tonic. He doesn't eat breakfast or lunch, and he has a weird predilection for leftovers, even combining a variety of leftovers into a new meal.
He wears sunglasses constantly, even indoors and sometimes at night. They are prescription sunglasses, aviators, with rose-tinted lenses. When driving, he likes to hand you his sunglasses so you can see the sunset as he sees it, despite the fact that he can't see the road without his glasses. He has a large nose, which is anchored by a large mustache, which he curls using toothpaste. His hair is shell-like, one of the greatest combovers I have ever seen. The Ricker looked the same in 1972, 1982 and even 2002.
He is often seen shirtless, displaying his hairy chest in all its glory. His shorts are short--so short, in fact, that when his original 1980s shorts finally wore out, he purchased the shortest shorts he could find at a department store and had them taken in a few inches. He then had to have the pockets taken in, as they hung lower than the shorts' hemline. He wears sandals, full sandals with a toe strap and ankle strap. They aren't Tevas, that would be too normal. Instead, they are these overly velcroed leather sport sandals that he wears a size too small so his toes hang over. He has two pairs, black and brown, that are identical, because he purchased two brown pairs and spray-painted one pair black. In the winter, which to him means February, he wears old Levis, old cowboy boots (and an original pair of moonboots when it snows) and a denim shirt. The rest of the year, even when the temperature is in the 40s, he runs around in his shorts, shirtless, with sandals displaying his grotesque toes.
He is often seen carrying a large, purple plastic cup, though the contents of the cup have varied over the years. A while ago, it was a tequila half-soda half-OJ. Then, it became the Ricker--a cocktail of vodka, zima and cranberry juice. Now he drinks jug white wine and diet tonic. He doesn't eat breakfast or lunch, and he has a weird predilection for leftovers, even combining a variety of leftovers into a new meal.
He wears sunglasses constantly, even indoors and sometimes at night. They are prescription sunglasses, aviators, with rose-tinted lenses. When driving, he likes to hand you his sunglasses so you can see the sunset as he sees it, despite the fact that he can't see the road without his glasses. He has a large nose, which is anchored by a large mustache, which he curls using toothpaste. His hair is shell-like, one of the greatest combovers I have ever seen. The Ricker looked the same in 1972, 1982 and even 2002.
posted at 11:03 AM
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