The Ricker thinks of creative punishments.

The normal ones are there too, though. I've been grounded, fined, forced to apologize, lost phone/car/TV privileges, spanked, and sent to my room. Based on experience, the Ricker's favorite punishment was forced labor, which really wasn't that bad, because it wasn't much different than my chores.

One particular punishment stands out in my mind as being especially cruel--and especially effective. One night in high school, there had been a party next door. I attended and I drank. And drank. And drank some more. With the exception of a few shots, I finished off a 750 ml bottle of Absolut Citron, drinking most of it straight from the bottle. Somehow, I managed to stumble outside and pass out on the trampoline, facing down so I could vomit. My friends called my parents, and Mrs. Ricker showed up to walk me up the hill at 2 AM, still vomiting. She was very sympathetic, at least until the next morning, when she offered me some beer as a joke.

The Ricker was less sympathetic. He had woken me up early and sent me outside. It was summer, and it was a going to be a hot day, at least by Colorado standards. The Ricker asked me to dig some holes, each about two feet deep. I thought I was digging holes for planting. This wasn't the case however. He had me dig holes, and then switch the dirt. Digging holes for no reason! Except that every time the shovel hit the dirt, my brain felt like it was going to explode in my skull. Dig two holes, swap the dirt, repeat. All morning. In the sun. As I was sweating off the alcohol. It was the most diabolical thing he's ever done to me.

And I'm definitely going to do it to my kids if they every get out of line.